This has been a long time coming.
I love to blog. Writing is the most cathartic thing I can think of… aside from that stuffing your head into your pillow and screaming trick. But I had to promise my neighbours not to do that any more… so… here we are.
I have a secret… a horrible secret that I’ve carried with me for 9 years. One I struggle to hide from prying eyes.
Well… I’m not sure I’d use the word big. More like… Heavy.
Heavy may not be the right word either… overweight may be a better way to explain it.
Well I guess if I’m going to be honest, and as long as its just between you and I, I can tell the truth. I am obese. Maybe even mortally obese, if I were willing to take one of those BMI test thing.
I’ve done really good at trying to hide it. Subtle things like slipping a whole lot of black into my wardrobe, only eating when no one is looking, and shying away from the public lime light are just a few of my handy tricks.
But this weekend, after huffing and puffing during a round of socks vs body that I narrowly won, I had to admit that my tricks weren’t really working.
But there’s more. I’m not alone in this secret. This week while laying in bed after an attempt to sit up turned into a rolling fun zone, my husband of 15 months rolled over and said “I’m too big”.
So there we lay, both our dirty little secrets exposed, lost in our own thoughts of “how did I get here?”
16 years ago, I was a thin high school student in love with a handsome older guy. If you were to ask him, my husband would tell you that 16 years ago, he was this fit grab the bull by the horns kinda guy in love with a silly little girl (of course he probably wouldn’t call me silly, but… I know I was back then)
What happened to us? We were hot! We were REALLY hot. I know.. I’m tooting
my our own horns here, but… people paid us attention. We were fun to be with, and had fun being with each other.
Things change. Bodies change. I’m not naive enough to think that our bodies wouldn’t change, Life happens… Babies happen. I know all these things!! I really do!!
But when I stepped on the scale this am and realized I had gained and ENTIRE person since having my son 9 years ago… There were no excuses left. No hiding behind clothes or shying for mirrors can change the fact that if I kept on going the way I was, I probably wouldn’t live to see my grandchildren.
So Hubby and I are making changes. Eating at home, healthy food portions, and (gasp) exercising!
Today, we did good.
But tomorrow is coming fast, and if we’ve learned anything.. it’s that we need to take things one day at a time.