I’m so glad you asked!!!
Well, after 7 bottles of water yesterday, a total of 484 protein packed calories, 8 vitamins and surprisingly only a little whining, I stood on the scale and saw…
Which means in 1 day I had lost…
I haven’t been watching what I eat. I haven’t been measuring my food, drinking my water, OR taking my vitamins. I knew that the progress I’d made was hurting because I wasn’t being serious about my program. This morning, getting dressed for church, trying to squeeze into a pair of pantyhose, getting sweaty and frustrated trying to zip my skirt…. I couldn’t ignore it any more. I stopped what I was doing, stepped on the scale, and there it was… In digital grey and black. 249.1.
I remember 9-10 months ago, watching the numbers on the scale getting lower and lower. And I remember how hard it was to get that darn “5” to disappear. An now here I stood, .9oz from having it come back!
It’s time to get real. No more excuses of stress eating. No more blaming it on not being prepared, or on hormones… There is no excuse. I know this! I know how to do this! I had lost 60 lbs. now I’d put almost 20 of it back on!!
1st step in getting back on the right plan? Pull out my Blue Sky folders and re-educate. For example…
Did you know that 100 extra calories a day for a year will result in a 10-pound weight gain in a year?
You know what “former self” would have said reading that? She’d have said who eats ONE HUNDRED extra calories a day???
Want to know where those 100 calories come from?
One pouch of gummy candies like the kind that goes in Child the Thirds lunch box, that I ate 3 of… Yesterday.
15 potato chips… 160 calories!
And you know those single serving KD microwave thingy’s? You know… The ones we buy for the kids but might throw on for ourselves late at night when working and a little hungry? 220 calories!!
You can see how those extra 100 a day can sneak up on
me you when I’m you’re not paying attention.
So… Today is the day… Back on track …
insane frustrating confusing quite a day! In the morning I was filled with nervous energy waiting for a pretty important phone call (a life changing phone call really) and couldn’t really focus on one task. I managed to put that to good use by cleaning my office… Something that was long overdue.
The Hubs and I are in charge of this years spiritual retreat, an annual camp we do with anywhere from 150-200 guys. So yesterday morning, after my office was done, I started putting together the chorus books for the weekend. And I was waiting for this call.
I walked around the warehouse, chatting with the guys. And I waited. I checked out the auction area, and then my storage area to see if I could boost the auction product with anything from there. And then I waited. I talked to my program director about how his case load was going. and then I waited. I scheduled a donation pick up for my house this weekend, and … Yep… Then I waited. Signed some checks, waited. Sorted some stuff out with our GS, waited. You get the idea, I’m sure.
The phone call never came.
12:45 I went with The Hubs to a specialist appointment to try and figure out what’s wrong with him. Words like biopsy and scope were thrown around, and… I was still waiting.
By this time our phone was ringing, but not with the call we were waiting for. Our phones were blowing up with friends, family, co-workers and peers all wanting to know “what in the world is going on?”. I’ve got to admit that it was hard, it was bittersweet. It hurt to be in the position of suddenly ” out of the loop”, but it meant so much to hear those other people echo our own thoughts.
So anyways, after some tears and some other stuff I won’t bore you with, we did eventually get a phone call at the close of business. We don’t know a whole lot more then we originally did, but the waiting could stop.. or… Change.
I don’t have a lot more to say about it right now, except that the events, or lack there of, gave me a lot to think about.
I will leave you with this thought I shared with The Hubs through tears yesterday.
Fighting injustice, being the voice of those who cannot speak for themselves, and standing up to be known when something isn’t right… Those are qualities I have been raised with. My parents before me, with the same struggles, it’s all I’ve ever known. Sexism, classism, racism, ageism, prejudice of any kind makes me sick to my stomach and wherever possible, I take a stand. When there is a person hurting, I will stand with them, and I will fight for them. Would someone do the same for me?
Reach deep inside and find something your passionate about, and take a stand. It won be easy, and you may feel like you should have just taken the easy way out. But in those moments of heart break, when everything feels like its crumbling around you, you’ll find inner peace knowing no matter what, you stood!
Moving isn’t fun. New adventures can be fun, but the packing, and decluttering… I could live without it.
So I’ve got boxes started… My dining room is packed up, and the furniture donated, which was a GREAT start! I lost momentum after going to Florida last week, and as I look around right now… I’ve got a lot to do. So tomorrow (Thursday), I’ll start a routine I found on Money Saving Mom’s Blog. There’s a daily routine to do for 4 weeks, to help get everything in your house organized. So.. those same rules, they should apply for getting ready to move, right?
I think so. Even with a few minor adjustments if needed…
Tomorrow night I’ll post and let you know how it went.
I love photographs. Our guys are pretty used to stoping and pausing for the camera 100’s of times during an event lol. In fact, now that we’re closing, I’ve started a scrap book of our 2 years here for our Director of Finance. He’s worked here forever, and has seen it all. Administrators who come in and want to change the world, one wacky Wednesday at a time, and those who are working hard to hide their own demons as they serve others. His heart and soul is in fhis place, and I want him to have something to remember it by.
Anyways… I love pictures(as long as I’m not in them). Today, I took my pictures off the walls. It makes me sad to think of them going into a box. There’s the pictures from our wedding, the pictures of our oldest boys who don’t live with us (these have a special spot in the living room of any of the houses we’ve been in) and the pictures of our 3 boys together on vacation this summer.
Going up the stairs are the photo frames I made after spotting an idea on Pinterest to honor our
ghosts houses past. In the spare room. More pictures from our summer vacation. Scotland, England, Wales and France… Seems a lifetime ago. Our bedroom, more pictures. Our home gym, more pictures. Even Hayden’s room is covered in photos from wrestling events he’s attended.
One of my favorites is of someone washing their hands. It signifies so much to me. Cleansing, fresh starts, forgiveness. It all comes to mind whenever I look at it.
In fact, it’s the only picture left up in the house. I think I need that reminder, especially now.
So… If you’ve done your homework and know my backstory, you’ll know that I have an
unmanageable, er unhealthy… obsession interest in reality TV. I know there’s not much reality to it, and that he/she who makes the most drama has their contract extended, but thats why I love it. Working where I work, reality is ever present. These dumb (yes, I can admit they are dumb!) reality shows allow a release I find hard to attain.
So anyways… To quote one of my least favorite RHOOC wives, my tanks on empty.
I sat in my office, reading my daily devotional last Friday and when I started to Pray, there were just no words. I couldn’t put what I wanted to say, what I needed to say into words… And everything else just seemed to be pushed away.
This week at the conference, we had a theme song, one we sang pretty much every session. One that I’ve never heard before, but as the first line showed on the projector screen, the words caught in my throat.
“When my heart was so broken that I could not Pray” – ok… You’ve got my attention, God. I’m listening…
“When love wasn’t easy to see.” … Well, if you know anything from the last few posts, it’s that I dont necessarily “feel the love” at these events.
“Someone was there, somebody cared, somebody prayed for me“…. This conference was the first time we’d seen many of our colleagues since the news of our closing went public. Over and over again during the week, we sat with different people who were wanting to ask questions about the future, about our men and about our family. And every single one of them said “We’re Praying for you” or “What can we pray for?”
Suddenly, Prayer time took a different outlook. One of our guest speakers, Reggie McNeal, challenged us to find ways to bless others. So during our devotional times, both at the conference and privately, when I couldn’t find the words, when the E on my tank was flashing, I Prayed for those who were praying for us.
I’m still struggling with my own words at time, but Praying for others has begun to refill my tank. (Now before you assume this is the first time that I’ve prayed for “Others”, it’s not. Nor am I the first one to struggle with the words needed).