I had a dream about my dad last night. Very odd. In fact the dream involved MY dad, The Hubs Dad, our Mentor-man from when we first started on this crazy work path, The Boss-man, Someone we’ve worked with before and Someone from the conference we’re at that
I don’t really like I’m not particularly close to. (I’m sure some psychologist somewhere would have a heyday with that dream)
The dream was about our upcoming move and job change. We were sitting around the table talking about options and we were given 2. One that would disrupt the life of the Someone else that we had worked with before, and the second option was to go blindly forward with the person I didn’t like, together.
Everyone pleaded their case as to which option was which. My dad stayed during the discussion and then faded off. Much as he was in life, he was a support, but always left finding the right answer to me, even if I picked the wrong one first.
I can’t tell you which one I picked, because I woke up before the dream ended. I can tell you then just before I woke up I ran into the arms of The Hubs dad in tears. It’s funny, he’s the only dad I have left and seeking comfort in him seems natural.
The dream left me rattled this am. We got ready and came down for this AMs meeting, and it was fresh in my mind. The morning started with a time of worship, and the band started playing the song that The Hubs sang at my dads funeral.
If this struggle had happened 2-3 years ago, my dad would have been the first one I’d have talked to about it, and that song got to me.
I’m hanging on. Sometimes on this side of good, some times on that. Maybe, as much as I don’t like these get together events, I needed this one As a time to take away the distractions I’ve managed to build up around when I get to close “breaking through”.