So… If you’ve done your homework and know my backstory, you’ll know that I have an
unmanageable, er unhealthy… obsession interest in reality TV. I know there’s not much reality to it, and that he/she who makes the most drama has their contract extended, but thats why I love it. Working where I work, reality is ever present. These dumb (yes, I can admit they are dumb!) reality shows allow a release I find hard to attain.
So anyways… To quote one of my least favorite RHOOC wives, my tanks on empty.
I sat in my office, reading my daily devotional last Friday and when I started to Pray, there were just no words. I couldn’t put what I wanted to say, what I needed to say into words… And everything else just seemed to be pushed away.
This week at the conference, we had a theme song, one we sang pretty much every session. One that I’ve never heard before, but as the first line showed on the projector screen, the words caught in my throat.
“When my heart was so broken that I could not Pray” – ok… You’ve got my attention, God. I’m listening…
“When love wasn’t easy to see.” … Well, if you know anything from the last few posts, it’s that I dont necessarily “feel the love” at these events.
“Someone was there, somebody cared, somebody prayed for me“…. This conference was the first time we’d seen many of our colleagues since the news of our closing went public. Over and over again during the week, we sat with different people who were wanting to ask questions about the future, about our men and about our family. And every single one of them said “We’re Praying for you” or “What can we pray for?”
Suddenly, Prayer time took a different outlook. One of our guest speakers, Reggie McNeal, challenged us to find ways to bless others. So during our devotional times, both at the conference and privately, when I couldn’t find the words, when the E on my tank was flashing, I Prayed for those who were praying for us.
I’m still struggling with my own words at time, but Praying for others has begun to refill my tank. (Now before you assume this is the first time that I’ve prayed for “Others”, it’s not. Nor am I the first one to struggle with the words needed).