I’ve struggled to get something down on paper these last few days (weeks?). There’s been a lot going on, and my brain has struggled to wrap it all together in a simple little blog post.
Having 3 weeks at home in Canada was incredible! There’s nothing like the feeling of being home. We crossed the boarder and it was as if a weight was lifted. I could have cried, it was so good to be home and close to my family.
Now we’re back and getting ready to start work. There have been a LOT of bumps in the road these last two weeks -none of which were anyone’s fault, I should add, and none of them on their own would have been breakdown worthy, but combined, it’s felt like a comedy of errors.
My heart isn’t into it right now. My mind is on a hundred and one other things, including the singular biggest decision we’ve made… More on THAT to follow in a few weeks or so.
Tonight while trying to get Child the III back to a school routine, he came down the stairs crying. I asked him what he was wrong, and he said “I feel sad”. We went through why he might be feeling sad, and ultimately I suggested that he try praying about it. He got more upset at that and said that when he prayed, God didn’t answer. I’ve had some pity moments like that of my own lately.
I told Child 3 that sometimes God answers in different ways, sometimes saying “wait” or sometimes with bigger and better things in mind. Sometime, I told him, we’re not done talking to God and He’s waiting for us to tell everything, not just part of what’s in our heart. I left him with his face buried in the pillow to take a few extra minutes in his bedtime prayers.
About 5 min later Child 3 appeared on the top of the stairs and announced “mom! God did it! My sad is gone!”
Maybe that’s the reminder I needed. This anxiety, this stress and this confusion I’m feeling doesn’t have to be my burden alone.
From the mouth of babes…