RSS

Category Archives: Adoption

This Birthday’s for you!

35.  It’s impossible for me to get excited about it no matter how hard I try but instead of sulking and pouting about it, I’ve decided to make the day… the whole month actually… exciting!  This year, instead of my birthday being all about me, I wanted to make it all about someone else.  35 someone else’s to be exact.

This year, I decided to spend the month of September doing Random Acts of Kindness around our city.  Everyone deserves a “nicey”, and I hope that they put a smile on someone’s face.  I know they made me smile (and a couple even made me shed a tear).  Some are just simple small things, others took a little more thought 🙂

I have one request before you go and read my list (or before you decide this is the most boring post ever, and move on to the next blog). I want a birthday gift from you. (Pretty funny for the girl who says she doesn’t want her birthday to be about her, I know). In honor of our friendship, either real, or in the blogosphere, I would like you to do one RAOK for someone else.  Hold the door for someone, pay someone a compliment, whatever feels right for you in the moment.  Then come back here, or on Facebook, or wherever, and tell me about it.

raok

Here, in no particular order, is my list of 35 Random Acts Of Kindness.  (The one’s in red are the one’s I’ve already done)

  1. I gave a random mom free McDonalds Ice Cream coupons for her kids
  2. A mom in town was granted overnight visits with her kids, and looking for books to read them.  I filled a knapsack with some of Hayden’s old books for her, and a few Kids DVD’s.
  3. A neighbor was looking for a kiddie pool, I happened to have one in our storage shed.  That one was almost too easy.
  4. I gave a single mom working long hours on a road crew a crock pot so she wouldn’t have to come home and rush to prepare dinner.
  5. I gave the same mom movie passes so she could take her kids out for a night (After being a single mom, I have a serious soft spot for them)
  6. I cleaned out my closet, and supplemented when needed, and gathered 5 bags of clothes for a low income new mom who was in need of some clothes. (Those of us who’ve had to shop for them know plus sized clothes have that “extra material” surcharge on them that makes them more expensive then “Regular sized clothes”, whatever those are.)
  7. I gathered a dozen tennis balls, put them in a container with a note, and dropped them off at the dog park.  As I we were pulling away, someone pulled up with their dog, so we hung out for a second to hear what they said and the girl said “Awww… that’s so sweet” and I teared up a little thinking of how Bernie would have thought it was great to play with… or eat… the tennis ball.

    My Sweet Berner Bear would have loved this!

    My Sweet Berner Bear would have loved this!

  8. We are having construction work done on our old thrift store to convert it into our new food bank.  I’m going to make cookies and bring a case of cold water for them during their break. They are going above and beyond for us to get this done asap, so I wanted to go above and beyond for them
  9. I left a Tim Horton’s gift card in the mailbox for our Mail carrier.  She drives all over town all day long, and I don’t know how many people get a chance to tell her thank you, so I wanted to make sure that I did.TIms Card
  10. Quarter machines…. as a kid, they were my favorite thing, with unknown treasures wrapped in plastic spheres. As a parent, they drive me nuts, trying to get out of the store before the kiddo notices one and inevitably asks for a quarter while my arms are full.  I went to the mall, Canadian tire and Walmart, leaving quarters in all the machines I could find for some curious kids to discover.  I got busted by a couple waiting in line at Walmart customer service who noticed me stooped over the machines, but I don’t think they told anyone.

    TREATS!!!

    TREATS!!!

  11. I taped quarters to a drink machine so someone could help themselves to a cold drink while shopping.
  12. While driving around town to drop off another couple RAOK, I saw a kid… really… a kid I would assume was younger then my oldest son playing guitar for change outside No Frills.  Just one look at the guy told me he was seriously down on his luck, so I reached into my purse and found another Tim’s gift card.  When the Hubs gave it to him, the kid asked “Are you serious??!” and it almost broke my heart.
  13. I went to two of the playgrounds in town and left bottles of bubbles and bubble wands for kids to find
  14. Over the last 5 years, our family has become very familiar with Emergency Rooms.  They are NEVER fun, and the outdated magazines hardly help me keep my mind of why we’re there, let alone some poor kid brought there with their family.  (and yes, that’s been Hayden a time or two).  We went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of kids books and left them at Triage, the ER waiting room, XRay, CT and Ultrasound waiting rooms.
  15. Looking in mirrors has never been something I’ve enjoyed.  Add in the harsh light of a public restroom, and A simple trip to wash my hands can lead to an all day depression.  I left post it notes all over bathrooms in town that said “You are beautiful”, because lets be honest, we could all stand to hear it now and then 🙂

    20140912_141119

    We are all beautiful!

  16. Thank you cards for random people in town.  I wish I had these ready when I saw an RCMP truck parked outside the hospital, but I will be prepared next time!
  17. Get a bunch of balloons and tie them to the park fence by work.  What kid wouldn’t love a free balloon?
  18. Donuts for the 3 Fire Halls
  19. Donuts for the RCMP station… is it wrong to give donuts to the cops? Will they be offended?  I’ve outsourced this looking for an answer 🙂
  20. EVERYWHERE downtown has parking meters, and its always such a pain in the butt, especially if you don’t have a quarter.  So, I’m going to leave Quarters on the meters.
  21. Flowers for a friend just because
  22. We have such a great relationship with the local newspaper.  They are always covering our events, going out of their way to help us out.  So why not say thank you with some cookies?  Who doesn’t love cookies?
  23. We had a trunk sale last weekend, and we saw a bunch of people coming through with kids who wanted to stop at our table, but the parents kept saying “I have no change left!” so we took all our prices off and gave it all away.  (OK, so it was kind to the kids, but the parents might not have been as excited about it)20140913_115924
  24. We paid for the orders of people behind us at Tim Horton’s twice.  The first time, The Hubs forgot to tell them it was for my Birthday RAOK, so we did it again 🙂
  25. I met a lady with a new Cat.  Her kids are more then a little obsessed with it. (If you’ve ever had a new pet with little kids in the house, you know what I mean… mauling the poor animal any chance they get).  The cat hurt it’s leg and she was looking for a carrier to be able to let the cat recoup without little fingers bothering it, so I gave her the one we had.
  26. I have some sweet little cousins in Alberta who have been playing xBox with My boy.  I’ve mailed them something special that they should get next week.  What little kid doesn’t love getting mail?
  27. I have a friend who’s son got married this past weekend.  She was looking for a projector to show a slide show during the reception, so I loaned her mine.
  28. Our local domino’s does a program called “Suspend a pizza”.  What that means is I can pay $5, and they will put a pizza “on hold”, and when someone comes and says “I’m hungry but don’t have any money”, they will make them a pizza from the suspended pizzas.  That one made me a little teary eyed as well.
  29. Deliver Handwritten cards to a local nursing home. Not everyone gets visitors, and that thought makes me sad.
  30. Drop off thank you basket to the nurses in the Emergency Dept. for all those time’s they took such good care of us.
  31. This week I had a visit to the dentist. And when they came out to get me to bring me to the room, they asked how I was “Aside from being at the dentist”.  The hygienist and I started talking to it, and I asked her if it was hard hearing people say they didn’t want to be there every time someone came to their appointment, and she said “You get used to it”.  I thought how hard that must be, every day to hear people say such negative things.  So I’m going to drop off a basket of stuff for them… I just need to think of what is an appropriate treat for a dentist’s office… clearly not candy 🙂
  32. (Ok, so this is probably my one and only selfish RAO) Child the III and I don’t always get a lot of Mom and Kiddo time, and with our adoption paper work to add another little kiddo to our family, it may be a little shorter at times, so this weekend while the hubs is away, Kiddo and I will be spending the weekend camping, and spending some quality time together.
  33. This one is a family RAOK.  When Kiddo was selling his Skylanders, we got a FB message from a mom asking us to please please please sell her one of the specific figures because her autistic son saw it over her shoulder and went nuts. It was the only one he needed to complete his set, and would not stop asking for it.  Hubs made arrangements to meet up with her, and gave it to her for free.  We got a note from her half an hour later saying that her son hadn’t stopped running around the backyard yelling “Thank You!” to the nice man who gave it to him. That one brings a tear to the hubs eye every time we talk about it 🙂

  34. This one is a work in progress.  Hubs belongs to one of the MANY local service clubs in the area, and they run a lunch program for the local schools to make sure kids don’t go hungry.  I don’t know why no one put the two together before now, but they run the food program, we run the food bank… there is clearly a way for us to help out! So details need to be worked out, but I don’t think it will take too long, or be too hard to link these two fantastic programs together.

  35. We live in a town that still has payphones (Insane, right?!) I remember being stranded and having to make a collect call more then once in my lifetime, and it’s a horrible feeling not being able to check in with someone who might be missing you.  I’ll be taping change to the local payphones so  “someone can reach out and touch someone”
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 17, 2014 in Adoption, Blogging, McHubby, Surprise

 

Tags: , ,

Inspired by Obedience (a day early even!)

I’ve always been a bit of a different character.  I think that’s the polite way to say it.  As far back as I can remember, I’ve balked at authority, pushed the limits with rules, and generally made my own “Normal”.  Rules make me roll my eyes, and I’ve been known to say “Well, that’s just too bad, it needs to be done my way!” WAY more than is healthy for someone who’s spent their life in ministry. Don’t get me wrong, The Hubs can be just as head strong as me, but he manages it better. M-U-C-H better (Most of the time)!

So, what do you get when you mix 2 very head strong people with some serious baggage and “Church Hurts”?  What we got was 6-8 months where the thought of entering a church door caused anguish.  It was NOT a good time for us, for our relationship, for our souls.  Thankfully a friend invited us to her church (pastors kids…. we’re always looking out for each other), and not really knowing why, we said yes.  We went… we had a plan… in, be seen, out.  EASY.  Or so we thought.

We walked into that church and it literally changed our lives.  In all honesty, it probably saved our relationship with our families and with each other.  A church full of hurting people awaited us in those pews, and told us it was ok to be hurt, it was ok to be mad, but it wasn’t ok to turn our backs on the only source of True Peace.  The Hubs, having spent 9 years previous as a pastor, was “home”.  Where he needed to be at that time.  Me, I was better… not great, but better. Life went on.  We had bumps, hiccups, even a couple road blocks, but life… as far as I knew… didn’t get much better than this.

Then we hit that fateful night.  The conversation that brought us here.  You’ve read how it went for me, (If not, click here to check it out… I’ll wait… go ahead… 🙂 how the Hubs telling me he wanted to go back to ministry as a pastor ripped my world apart.

Up until now I never looked at it from HIS side.  Imagine struggling with “putting off” God’s calling. (Not hard to imagine for those of us who are doing it right now).  Hubs knew, by telling me, that he was opening a door he couldn’t close.

The courage it must have taken, knowing how long and how hard we had tried to grow our family.  The struggles of fertility issues, of miscarriages. The nights he spent trying to console me as my heart cried out for a baby that seemed like it was never coming. And even though he knew it would mean that our adoption plans went on hold, he knew what he HAD to do.

He knew that a 75% pay cut would be hard to swallow.  He knew that I had sworn long ago that my kids wouldn’t grow up as I had, moving from city to city, never having a “childhood friend” for more then a couple years before it was time to go on to the next place.  He knew that asking me to go and be a pastors wife would stretch me beyond my wildest dreams.  He knew that with my history of “running” that he could tell me and I’d say “Nope, this isn’t what I signed up for” and leave.

He knew all those things, but more than that…. he knew he had no choice.  He knew that his obedience to Gods calling outweighed all those things, and he knew he had to take the chance.  I can’t imagine the stress, the anxiety he would have felt in those days leading up to his breaking point.

His willingness, his NEED to put himself out there, and say “This is what I have to do” inspires, challenges and confronts me every day.  I may not always remember to tell him, or to act like it, but not a moment goes by without me knowing how Blessed I am to have him as my husband and best friend.

As I work through the struggle of my own life in ministry, however that may look, it is because of The Hubs support that I have the courage to look at MY options in all of this.

us

 
4 Comments

Posted by on September 4, 2013 in Adoption, Babies, Bible Study, McHubby, Mess, Move, Prayer

 

Tags: , , ,

Reality Check

Its that time… time for me to sit down with my ovaries and tell them to knock it off! have a chat.

All this baby ache is driving my crazy, and will start to drive everyone around me crazy, if it already hasn’t.

Being snowed in has caused my brain to turn a little fuzzy, and the result is my emotions are ALL over the place, in a one flew over the cookoo nest kind of way.  Yesterday, I told the man I love, the man who cries with me over the disapointment of the “Wait, no babies yet” message we keep getting, that I was scared these future bundles of joy weren’t a priority for him. I can’t believe that would ever come out of my mouth, that I would ever hurt him in that way.

We laugh over the different ways we’ve planned to tell our families about the babies, when they happen.  We cried one day in the car about our future daughters first break up. We argue about the clothes she’ll wear, the toys our furture son will play with, and the TV they’ll watch (NO purple and green bouncing idiots are allowed in my house!!) I know he loves these two as much as I do, I know his heart aches for them, to be able to hold them like mine does, but last night, snow swirling around me, I said I was scared he didn’t. And this wonderful amazing guy? He wrapped my up in his arms, kissed me, and told me he loved me, even though it may have been one of the most hurtful things I could have said to him.

I follow this great blog called “Adopted Momma of Two“. I started following her a couple months ago, when I thought adoption was going to be our only option. Reading her has really helped with questions I had, with knowing theres someone else out there who felt the way I do.  Her post from yesterday was one of three she did that really hit home for me. In Sometimes I forget she said what my heart was feeling, and reminded me that the ache I feel is one I share with other women (and men) out there. That I’m not the only one who did this  There was a time I longed for a misbehaving child. I begged God for a crying, teething toddler. I prayed for sleepless nights spent caring for my children. I have been given exactly what I asked for. God answered my prayers.”

In Why does it cost so much she got down to the nitty gritty of it that I needed to know, and needed to think about.  Her adoptions cost $26,000.  Thats a whole lot for a family just starting out together, just starting new jobs, and its something I need to think about.

When I read Not Being Pregnant I cried. I want to be past the stage where it hurts to be happy for my friends who are having babies. I want to be able to look at them in the eye and share in their joy, rather then half hearted congratulations while trying not to cry.  My sister in law just had a baby. An amazing little blue bundle that I am TERRIFIED of being around.  They are coming to town this weekend, and the thought of being with them, watching them as a family physically hurts. I want to be past that!! I want to smile, I want to say congratulations and mean it, but I don’t know if I can.

McHubby and I have been through so much in life.  SO much before we finally got to find our happiness. I know to expect everything from here on out to be easy is ridiculous, but we’ve done our time! We’ve done everything right, trying to please our families, our kids, our friends. Sacrificed. Delayed. Moved Mountains. Things are supposed to get easier now.

We have options.  Things to think about.  Adoption. Surgery. Sperm donors. Whats best for our family situation. What’s Gods plan?  Are we messing with it? Where do we go from here? 

Man I hope this snow gets lost soon.  I need fresh air and open spaces to clear my head… before I push everyone away.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on February 11, 2010 in Adoption, Babies, Blog of Note